June 10, 2020.
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It probably seems out-of-place for the first development log to be titled, "Giving up", but there's some necessary backstory that comes with me introducing this series.
When I first started developing games, I was also just beginning to learn how to code. In fact, the whole reason I started learning how to code was so that I could make my own games. My first games were simple and also very laggy and bug prone, as many first games tend to be. As I kept improving my skills, I kept starting new projects because I had either discovered a new "greater" project for me to test my skills on or because I had become disgusted with my old code. Not only was this cycle a waste of time, it was incredibly demotivating, as I wasn't finishing any of the projects I was starting. It quickly got to the point where I didn't really want to make games anymore. I had lost sight of the dreams that influenced me to put forth any effort in the first place.
So, I set out to work on something a little different, something that would hopefully refresh me and my passion: a custom compiler and programming language I named Essprog. It may seem like deciding to design something so difficult while having so little motivation is crazy. But, I thoroughly enjoyed the project and stuck with it for a whole two-and-a-half years, even despite many, many setbacks and frustrations. The project was by no means a failure, but increasing difficulty beyond my experience and demand for more of my limited time told me it was time to give up.
So what did I get from all of these seemingly dead-end projects? Well, they really weren't dead-ends at all. Not only did I gain experience from working on those projects, all of the failures made me realize that I was setting my own expectations and goals way too high, chasing moving goal-posts. In setting out to create a flawless game or the ultimate programming language, it was inevitable that I would never finish given my level of experience, especially when my goals were vaguely defined and perfectionism was involved. It would have been more fulfilling for me to work on and complete smaller projects so that I would have actually finished some.
Having far-reaching dreams about what you want to create is great and absolutely necessary, but it is also important to know what your limits are and when to dial-back your goals a little, or even give up. Obviously, don't just surrender the moment you face some resistance, but you should be able to effectively gauge where you are in a project and what the best decision to make for that project and yourself is.
All of that being said, I have found myself back in game development. This time I'm a little wiser and am determined to actually finish a game I am passionate about, no matter what. And, I want to make sure my time might be useful for others as well. Hopefully you can find some of what I do while making Sub-Level helpful in your own game development or programming journey.
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